‘My bridesmaid is demanding I buy her a second dress – she says I’m fat-shaming if not’

A bride-to-be has shared a difficult situation she’s found herself in with one of her friends as the bridesmaid dress she got no longer fits and she’s demanding another one

It’s no secret that weddings can get pretty expensive, with a venue, outfits, food, make-up, flowers and more to pay for.

Some brides also kindly offer to cover expenses for their bridal party, paying for dresses, accessories and transport.

One bride-to-be has shared how she decided to buy bridesmaid dresses for her three close friends back in 2019, ahead of her planned wedding in 2020.

However, after the pandemic hit, her wedding got postponed until 2022 and this has caused a few issues.

Taking to the internet, the bride asked for some advice after one of her bridesmaids demanded she buy her another dress for the wedding as she no longer fits in the original one.

Get the news you want straight to your inbox. Sign up for a Mirror newsletter here.

Writing in a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, the anonymous woman explained: “Between 2019 when bridesmaid dresses were purchased and now, one bridesmaid ‘Jane’ had put on significant weight. In Mid 2021, she started a fitness journey with the goal of getting back to her original weight.

“In February 2022, Jane came to me and told me she couldn’t fit into her bridesmaid dress, and she’d need a bigger dress. Since it’d been two years since purchasing the dress, it obviously couldn’t be returned. She gave it back since, but the value had significantly decreased, especially since the dress was now discounted by the store itself. FYI, The bridesmaid dresses weren’t identical. We went with dresses that went well together/had a similar ‘vibe’.”

She goes on to say that she had a chat with Jane and offered to give her whatever she makes from selling the dress to put towards a new one – although it won’t be the full original amount.

“She got upset and told me it wasn’t her fault she gained weight and couldn’t fit into the dress anymore and since I was the bride, I should pay for a new dress. I told her that it wasn’t personal and I’d have the same response for anyone else,” she continued.

“I told her it didn’t have to be expensive, just had to fit the vibe or be somewhat similar to the old dress. I’m not a bridezilla or anything, so I didn’t care too much about what dress she chose to wear and offered to help her find a new dress within budget.”

However, this did little to please the bridesmaid and she dubbed the bride an “awful friend” and accused her of “fat-shaming”.

“She said she couldn’t afford a new dress and said I had to pay for her dress or she couldn’t be at my wedding. I told her I couldn’t pay more than I was offering for a new dress, and I understood that she couldn’t be a bridesmaid and I hoped she’d be able to make it to the wedding as a guest.

“I tried wrapping it up but she wouldn’t leave. She teared up and called me cheap for not paying for a bridesmaid dress since I’d paid for everyone else’s, and that if I really wanted ‘my friend’ there I’d actually make an effort and brought up how much we were spending for our wedding and how ‘an extra small purchase would be nothing’.

“I won’t lie, this did upset me. I told her if she didn’t want to buy a new dress, the only other options were to not come or find a way to fit into the old dress. She broke down crying and ran out, and later told others in the bridal party that I’d told her that if she didn’t lose weight, I was going to kick her out of the bridal party. Thankfully I’d already talked to them before this and they didn’t believe it, but now I’m getting pressure to buy her a new dress so we can just move on and get over it.”

She asked fellow Reddit users if she was being stubborn in refusing to buy a new dress or if it was the right decision.

More than 700 people replied, with many agreeing the bride wasn’t in the wrong and it was “generous” of her to have paid for the first dress.

One person said: “You gave solutions it’s crap she’s saying you’re an awful friend and shaming her.”

Another wrote: “I’ve been in a few weddings and never had the bride purchase our dresses – you’re amazingly generous! It sucks your wedding got postponed and she gained weight, but she’s lucky they weren’t identical and she could find another option.”

A third commented: “Was going to say you were [the a**hole] based on the title, but you’ve already bought her one and it’s been returned, you’ve said it doesn’t have to be costly, you’ve offered to help her look, you’ve offered the money from the original dress.

“She’s currently on her ‘compass of shame’ so it’s likely she’s angry at herself for the weight gain and placing it on you, but it isn’t your fault.

“If she apologises and backs down soon, I’d still have her as a guest, but under no circumstances a bridesmaid anymore. She went to try and make you look bad to your friends. That’s a whole other thing than asking for advice or backup.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.